I have been living in Dk for ten years now. And for the first time, I finally can say that Christmas is not as stressful as it was the last years. You may be wondering why I used to hate Christmas so much, but hold on, I have an answer for you.
Being so far away from my family has caused a lot of anxiety especially during this holiday seasons. I avoided malls, or any other place, where I would hear any Christmas music. I even hated the fact that the Christmas decorations started as early as mid-November in the city. It traumatized me! And, reminded me of the good moments from back home. My heart would beat so fast. Then, I would go home and cry for hours or even the entire night because I missed my family. I must say that I was lucky to have people who cared about me.
Every year, they would invite me to their house on Christmas Eve. We would eat all the Danish food, and maybe sometimes I would sleep over or go home after midnight. Every single moment spent with anyone who invited me was so precious. I got gifts, I learned to sing some Danish Christmas song, and I even have a few that are my favorites. Can you believe it? 😀 But still, deep down in my heart, I knew something was still missing, my family. It bothered me so much for so many years until I met Axel six years ago.
This Christmas is a little different. I don’t feel sad neither do I feel like I should avoid places with Christmas music. I am actually excited and looking forward. So, what changed, you ask? It took me long to realize that, I had to let go of my fear and anxiety.
First, I had to accept that, no matter how far my family is, they will always be close to my heart. Frequent communication through WhatsApp, exchange of pictures has helped me. Secondly, the warmth that I have gotten from all the families that invited me had a positive impact too. Being together with Axel, and the feeling of being part of what felt like family was everything I dreamed of. The most important thing during this journey was the shift in my mindset. Accepting that home can be anywhere. It does not have to be in Kenya out in the village where I grew up.
Thank you so much for reading!